Rewind

Time to update!

Went to the rheumatologist today. The hospital changed all the signs and now none of the signs direct to each specialty clinic... not a big deal for me since I've been going for years, but could be a big hassle for new patients.

The doctor is concerned that my lupus is acting up again. She's been pretty patient with me in the fact that I don't want to take any meds while nursing. She did want to know when I plan on stopping nursing because she does not want my condition to get out of control. I told her ideally 18 months, but we shall see.

She asked about my lymphnodes because she could see in my record there was a test done. She said with my condition and swollen lymphs that I am a candidate to get cancer! OMG! Not another thing to worry me about! So today, I had a butt ton of labs done.

It started to rain on my drive back to work and I decided to go home. My body is in so much pain from my arthritis and DD not sleeping well and then I had a huge headache from the rain pressure. I went home and had a nice nap.

So, DH has been home a week. Does he think I am supposed to empty his luggage/bags and put them away? Does he think he is still living in a hotel? OMG! Everytime I see his luggage I want to punch him so bad. I am going to put it away this weekend. He's been home and the house has become cluttered. I was letting it slide since he just got home... but he's been home for a week, only worked one half day. Can you do some chores around the house? One would think that with another adult, the household chores would seem less... No! It seems I have more crap to do. At least he is making dinner, even if it comes with a collossal mess!

I go back to school in September. I am re-starting my Master's in Education, but not in elementary education, it will be Instruction and Human Improvement... more of the behind the scenes with curriculum development. This go round, I am paying for it out of pocket since I have used my VA benefits. I know I could use DH's, but I don't think that is fair. He needs to either use it or transfer it to DD. So, I applied for a FASFA loan and since we make too much, I was only qualified for the worst type of loan... no grants or anything. At first, I was excited, I could go to school full time and finish quickly. But then I started to think... I don't want to go into major debt for schooling. CG has tuition assistance which pays a portion and then I am going to pay the rest. So instead of going to school full time, I am going when we can afford it. It may take longer, but I know I won't be deep in debt when I am done.

Feeling like a failure

Blah...
It sucks... I want to enroll DD in some sort of class to build up her coordination. We have Gymboree and The Little Gym in the area, but sadly, most of the classes are offered during the day. It's like they don't think the parents who have to work during the day want to spend quality time with thier kids, or maybe they think they can't afford it since they have to work, or if they can afford it, send the nanny to take the kids. It's not fair... I don't want to spend a lot of money to only be able to go one day a week when I could go more for the same price.
This just makes me feel even worse because I am not a stay at home mom... as much as I love my child, I don't want to stay home all day. I enjoy working and earning money. I just don't like feeling inadequate because of our choices.
I feel like it's my fault she is delayed with walking and maybe why she has the eye problem. I am broken so she is broken

Taco Taco Night

Imagine that sung to the tune of
Macho, Macho Man!

DH should be home Friday and I get my taco night back

Woot!

Fingers Crossed

One more week... DH will be home
He can finish setting up his room and I can finish organizing the craft room and then we can buy some more book cases... I could probably just order them off a website, which I might do since we probably could not fit them in the back of the car anyways... not with a carseat

Tomorrow is the neighborhood yard sale and I am getting rid of a lot of stuff... as I was unpacking, I saw so much stuff that I have no desire to use anymore and I don't want them taking space in the house... so out they go. What we don't sell, I will either donate it or try to sell it on ebay... the games will get sold, no giving those away

This Sunday, I think I will be brave and take DD to see Toy Story 3. She really enjoys the toys and has seen the other two movies several times.

This might be a long update

So, It's been a while since I last updated

Where shall I start first...

7 days and a wake-up!
Hubby should be coming home. He was down there for 16 days twiddling his thumbs before he was given a job. Now he works 12 hour days. I don't think he minds it too much since he is doing something and is in the a/c.

Waving the White Flag!
So, I finally broke down and hired someone to take care of my lawn. With hubby gone, it was very difficult to take care of the lawn and the baby at the same time. E would come over, but when she did, it was still too hot. I was trying to do it all. I have to stop and convince myself it is ok that I don't do everything, I have lupus. Some people need motivation to get off thier asses, I need motivation to stop. The guy will come by weekly for $35 a week. Not to bad, we were payign $20 at our last home and the yard was much smaller. It's one thing I don't need to worry about.

Belly Aches
I think DD might have some sort of intolerance to food dye. At first, I was thinking lactose because her tummy got upset after she had mac and cheese. I posted on a forum and someone mentioned yellow food dye. This makes sense since she has no problems with milk, yogurt, and the hubby's homemade mac and cheese. We are going to see her pediatrician to seee if this could be an issue.

Crazy Eyes
Well, her eyes are looking crossed again. The surgeon said sometimes they have to do the surgery again. So, I am going to contact his office and the insurance company to find out what we need to do.

Me
I feel like I am in a haze... I think I must be depressed. I feel very disgruntled at work. I keep my smile and do what I need to do, but I just don't enjoy it anymore. I am starting school in September, so hopefully, I will start feeling better. I also hope to get a new job... one has to be advertised, I must apply and get the job... but you get the idea

quickie

Well, DH has been gone a week. He suffered from kidney stones, but is doing better and will stay in NOLA.

DD does not seem to be affected by his absence, I guess because she spends most of her time with me. So, the only thing that has changed for me is that I have to make dinner in addition to all the other things I did anyways.

The dogs will no longer sleep in the bedroom during the workweek. They get all excited about having to potty and eat that they would wake DD and I would not be able to shower. She sleeps so much better when they don't sleep in the room with us

Can You See What I See?

Lily's surgery went well. She was back to her normal self the following days. She has red eyes, but that is normal for the surgery.

I think she may have been one of the youngest kids in the playroom that day.

And the oldest kid... maybe 7 or 8... was stealing all the toys from the younger kids. Her parents were not even paying attention to her.

She took one of those little push buggies for babies and was riding around on it and fell... I secretly laughed and hoped she was there for a lobotomy... but nope, she was out very quick